Uncategorized

The Working Title Is…Heaven and Howard Stern

The self-proclaimed “King of All Media” has been labeled a narcissist, a misogynist and a pig. Before moving to satellite radio, the undeniably provocative and controversial radio host amassed more than $2.5M in FCC fines for airing material deemed indecent.

He can be crude, his guests often lewd, his callers notoriously rude, and yet, strangely enough, I love the dude.

I am an avid listener. Many years from now, when my grandchildren ask what I remember about the horror of September 11, I will begin by telling them that as I dropped their mom off at pre-school, it was Howard Stern who told me a plane just crashed into the World Trade Center.

Does he gross me out sometimes? Totally. When he travels a path I find less than entertaining, I exercise my right to change the channel. But I change it back when the naughty stuff is over because the man is truly a gifted interviewer.

Aspiring journalists, broadcasters, even those studying human resources, psychology, law enforcement and future litigators should study his craft. It is beautiful to “watch” the verbal dance through which he draws people into his web of interviewing genius. Guests, who have clearly stated that they do not want to address a specific topic, will spill every bean…and then some. He is disarming, engaging and cleverly persistent.

I’ve heard him claim to be an atheist or an agnostic. I’ve also heard him admit to praying when he’s scared or sick or during his co-host Robin’s recent battle with cancer. I’ve heard him deny the existence of heaven and offer his opinion that our death is like a computer being shut off. The End.

This week, Steve Carell provided a fascinating interview. During the conversation, Carell described himself as a devout Catholic, and Howard dove into the whole God/heaven/hell discussion.

You could almost hear the sweat beads dripping off Carell’s publicist’s brow as soon as the topic turned to religion. They were probably prepared—even hoping– for Stern’s signature dirty talk, but instead he went to the core of religious belief.

Howard Stern was respectful in his line of questioning, and Steve Carell offered a perspective that resonated as the musings of a fellow Cafeteria Catholic. He struggled, as many of us do, to offer an explanation on those issues he accepts on faith alone.

This interview got me thinking. People who gain strength and define their character through spirituality or organized religion accept certain things on faith alone. Belief comes without empirical evidence or proof beyond a reasonable doubt, and often, faith defies logic.

So what if we set our faith aside for a moment and took Stern at his premise? What if when our heart stops beating, it’s over. Done. Finito. No afterlife. Nothing. All a big scam.

If heaven doesn’t exist (which it does) and it fails to make good on the promise to eliminate all suffering and pain, or falls short on being a place of perfect knowledge, comfort and joy (which it won’t) then the fact will remain that people of faith spent their lives committed to creating a bit of heaven here on Earth.

It’s an old argument in the atheist vs. theist debate, but age doesn’t diminish accuracy.  Atheists appear to be devoted to advancing debate, but I’m hard pressed to find any measurable, collective positive impact they desire to make on our world.  And they always seem so cranky.

Faith based organizations make a palpable impact on our world.  Almost 20% of all US hospital beds are in faith-based medical systems.   Students are being educated in more than 1,200 faith-based colleges and universities and 16% of all K-12 students are educated in faith-based schools including Jewish, Christian and Muslim programs. The largest private foundations donate upwards of $70M annually to support faith-based social service programs aimed at making a difference in our communities.

Acknowledgement even extends to government. The opening paragraph of the 2012 annual report of the President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief reads, “Without the contributions of our faith-based organization partners, (we) could not have achieved the extraordinary impact on the HIV/AIDS epidemic of the past decade.” It goes on to say, “Faith Based Organizations have long been symbols of hope to millions of people.”

Hope is powerful.  I have watched as people struggle to put their faith into words, but are able to put their faith into practice with relative ease when it comes in service to others. And so I will continue to work to make a little bit of heaven here on earth, and I will support others in their attempts.

More than a narcissist, a misogynist and a pig, Howard Stern seems to be a little lost and seriously lacking in self-esteem. You don’t have to be a gifted interviewer to figure that out.

I hope he can find peace in his heart without having to find definitive answers to his questions because that, quite frankly, is heavenly.

kmp

PS: Check out Jerry Seinfeld’s Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. The episode featuring Howard Stern is funny. And sad in a way too.

http://comediansincarsgettingcoffee.com/howard-stern-the-last-days-of-howard-stern

Standard
Uncategorized

The Working Title is…You Might Want to Shut the Hell Up

I was in Target this morning having a crisis of conscience that haunts me just about every six weeks. Standing in the laundry detergent aisle, I was again asking myself, “What would happen if I didn’t buy the high efficiency Tide and just got the regular old Tide to save a couple pennies?”

As I pondered the potential ramifications of ignoring the “HE” logo attached to my washer, I imagined myself in the middle of a Brady Bunch episode. It was the one where Bobby uses the whole box of laundry soap and bubbles fill the entire laundry room and seep into the kitchen. Classic.

That’s why I was smiling when you turned the corner.

You said, “Hello!” so loudly that my “Hi,” was meek in comparison as I tried to place how I knew you.

That was short lived because it became immediately apparent you weren’t talking to me anyway. You turned your head, and I noticed the thing in your ear that looked like a flash drive. I couldn’t hear the person on the other end of the line, but clearly you were trying to gain control of the conversation. Your “No, wait, wait, wait, you aren’t going to believe this,” was so loud that people in the toy department on the other side of the store listened with rapt attention.

I made my selection and was turning my cart around when your next line had the dramatic effect of making me stop dead in my tracks. You loudly proclaimed, “I don’t know what goes on in their house, but my kid would never do that.”

Then you began naming names and giving hints as to what atrocity this deviant child had committed. I was drawn to the conversation like a moth to a flame, which is how I found myself standing with you in the small appliance aisle.

Yes, I admit, I followed you and was totally eavesdropping, (or whatever the term is for listening in as someone shouts into an earbud) but I couldn’t help myself. I was on the edge of my seat spellbound by this dramatic tale you were telling. And the fortunate byproduct of my stealth-like reconnaissance will come on Christmas morning when some lucky person on my list unwraps a pretty sweet crock-pot.

You are much younger than I am, and we don’t know each other, but you might want to shut the hell up, for a couple of reasons.

First, while Detroit may be ranked #14 of the largest US metropolitan areas, this is a small town, and while I didn’t personally know you or any of the names you were spewing, I am certain that I could have that mystery solved in less than two phone calls.

Second, and more importantly, it’s the parenting kiss of death to say, “My kid would never do that.” You’d be much better off thinking “there but for the grace of God go I” whenever you hear of a child’s bad judgment or misbehavior, and for good reason. Kids, teens, young adults and even adults are dumb. We make dumb mistakes. No matter how good your parenting might be, your child will screw up. And it’s our job to teach our children the error of their ways, enact appropriate punishment and hope they learn from their mistake.

But we also have a role to play when it’s someone else’s child that makes the mistake. It’s called forgiveness. Far too often we continue to stand in judgment of other people’s children who have suffered the consequences of a bad decision.

I don’t know all the facts of your story because, quite frankly, I became annoyed with the sound of your voice and walked away, but I do know you are not alone in the opinion you were shouting to your friend that this child should be further punished.

In the last few weeks, I have heard two other stories about kids who made really dumb choices, apologized to all involved and accepted their punishment, only to have additional penalties, including public humiliation, imposed.

What has happened to redemption? Our reactions to a child’s bad decision has become so punitive that I fear our kids are being unfairly and permanently labeled when they screw up. If they commit the crime and do the time, then we have to let it go. (Oops, is that song stuck in your head now too?)

No one, child or adult, should be solely defined by any one act, be it a gross error of judgment or a moment of shining achievement. We are the sum total of all of our actions. And kids, in particular, should know the power of redemptive behavior.

When I stopped semi-stalking you, I went back to the detergent aisle to follow the rules and buy the high efficiency Tide. Not for fear of experiencing my own Brady bubble bewilderment, but more so because, despite being momentarily enthralled by your story, I couldn’t help but notice how pilly your sweatpants were. So if you’re not going to shut the hell up, maybe you should learn to hang your lululemon out to dry…instead of your son’s friends.

kmp

cropped-cropped-kp-typewriter11.jpg

Standard